Goodbyes
by tropigirl09
Summary: We all know how Bella feels when Edward leaves in New Moon, but what about Edward's story? R&R please!


I have to leave. I can't keep putting her in danger like this.

"Are you going to come back later?" Bella asked me as I walked her to her front door.

I nodded my head, "I need to speak with Carlisle first though." I had to come back. This was the last night I would spend with her. The last time I would be able to hold her in my arms, to hear her say 'I love you' in her sleep. The ache I felt in my chest was heart-wrenching. It hurt. She's the only girl that I have ever loved. But I can't keep using that as an excuse. I can't be selfish anymore. I had to let her go.

She turned to face me. Her eyes were sad, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking, "About earlier, it really isn't a big deal. Nobody got hurt. Please don't be mad at Jasper, it wasn't his fault."

I clenched my jaw in order to stop me from saying anything I shouldn't. I didn't want to argue with her, not when our time together was so limited, but the incident was a big deal. At least to me it was. I almost lost her, again. And it was _my_ fault, again. The only person I was mad at was myself. She didn't understand. She was the most important thing to me, she was my life. I was going to have to hurt myself to save her. It was the only way.

I bent down and kissed her lightly on the forehead, "I'll see you later tonight, okay?" I felt her finger trace my jaw line and down my chin as she nodded. I loved her familiar touch. It was warm, soft, and loving. I was going to miss if. I knew that I would never find anyone else like her, not ever.

I slowly walked to my car and drove home. I thought about what I would say to Carlisle. But I knew he would understand.

As soon as I was home I went to my room to write a letter to Esme and the rest of my family. I couldn't tell them, they wouldn't understand the way Carlisle would and I couldn't bear to see the hurt on Esme's face, It would make me second-guess my decision.

Dear Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, & Alice,

I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, but I knew you wouldn't understand. I had to leave. I couldn't keep putting Bella's life in danger. I'm going to do some traveling. I don't know when we'll see each other again, but please don't worry about me. Esme – you are the best mother anyone could ever ask for and thank you for everything. Emmet – you big goof, I'm going to miss our sibling rivalry. Rose – keep Emmet in line for me. Alice – don't try to look for me, it will only make this harder. Jasper – please don't blame yourself, it was only a matter of time before something would happen. This was inevitable. I'll always love you guys.

Take Care,

Edward

I folded the letter, sealed it in an envelope, and headed to Carlisle's study.

I noticed the rest of the house was quiet. Only Carlisle was here. The others must still be looking for Jasper. I was especially grateful Alice was not here. Even if she had already 'seen' what I was doing, she's too preoccupied with Jasper to do anything about it.

I finally reached the room where I would find Carlisle. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in,"

I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

"Hello Edward," Carlisle said as he set his book down. "Have a seat son, I think I know what this is about."

I sat down and put my face in my hands. This was going to more difficult than I thought. I couldn't even look at him when I spoke, "Carlisle, I have to leave. I can't stay in Forks anymore. I can't put her life in danger anymore. I don't have any other options." I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up. Carlisle was now standing beside me.

"I won't try and stop you. You have to do what you think is best, son. Esme and I will always love you and you are welcome home anytime."

I stood up and hugged my father-like figure goodbye, "thank you. I'll keep in touch."

He returned the gesture, "When?"

"I'll pack everything in my car tonight and leave tomorrow morning after…" I couldn't say it, and I didn't have to. He knew. "Can you make sure everyone reads this?" I asked with an unsteady voice as I handed him the letter I had written.

"Of course," he said taking the letter from my hand.

"Goodbye Carlisle, I'll call when I get to wherever it is I'm going," I said as I headed for the door.

"Goodbye son, be careful. And I'll be looking forward to that phone call," he said as he sat back down at his desk.

I ran to my room, grabbed a handful of clothes, my passport, and a few cd's, and shoved them in a duffle bag. I really didn't need anything else. I took one last look around my room before closing the door behind me.

As soon as I was outside, I threw my bag in the trunk of my car and sped down the driveway. I had to hurry before the others returned. I parked my car on the shoulder of the road several miles from the large woods that was situated next to Bella's house. That's where I would take her tomorrow.


End file.
